“EASY,” “DIFFICULT,” AND “SLOW-TO-WARM-UP” BABIES

When my little girl was born, she cried inconsolably round the clock. At our first baby checkup, the doctor found that she had a raging ear infection that had punctured her eardrum. “Hasn’t she been crying a lot?” the doctor grimly asked. Of course she had, but her older brother was a screamer by personality so I thought it was natural. After a round of antibiotics, my daughter quieted down and spent her days smiling and cooing with glee. I learned the hard way that babies have very distinct temperaments, and knowing that temperament helps parents better meet their children’s needs. There is scientific evidence that infants do possess distinct temperaments that dictate the way they react to their parents, to other people, and to their environment. In the 1950s, child development researchers Alexander Thomas and Stella Chess began a now fa-mous thirty-year study out of New York University Medical Center. They followed 133 infants from birth to adulthood and found that children do come equipped with their own unique personalities. Today, most child-development experts agree, and find that the most successful and satisfied parents are those who can adjust their parenting strategies to complement their child’s temperament. In this study (and in today’s infant population as well) approximately 40 percent of the children were “easy” babies who followed regular schedules, had a positive approach to change, and experienced only mild mood swings. Ten percent were “difficult” babies who followed irregular schedules, had intense reactions to change, and experienced frequent negative moods. And 15 percent were “slow-to-warm-up” babies who were cautious, had a mildly negative response to new situations, and needed to approach strangers and situations slowly. The remainder showed combinations of temperament traits that did not fit neatly into one of these three categories. What kind of baby girl do you have? Take time during this infant period to observe your daughter and try to understand how she interacts with her world. The following descriptions are from a book I wrote with child psychologist Charles Schaefer called Raising Baby Right. They are very general and apply to a baby’s most common behaviors. Difficult Babies: Kick and cry during diaper changes; awake three or four times during the night; cry inconsolably during a trip to the supermarket; pull away and scream when a stranger approaches; awakes instantly if the phone rings; if hungry will scream frantically before you have a chance to offer food; will stop feeding to turn toward a noise; will spend most of the day crying. Easy Babies: Lie quietly during diaper changes; will sleep between midnight and 5 ..; will enjoy a trip to the supermarket and will seem interested in the changing environment; will smile and reach toward a stranger; will sleep through the phone ringing; when hungry will make sucking noises or suck on her fingers without much complaining; will not be distracted from feeding by noise in the room; spends most of the day in a pleasant mood. Slow-to-Warm-Up Babies: Wiggle and squirm during diaper changes; will awake once or twice between midnight and 5 ..; will cry when she first enters a store, but then calm down with only occasional whimpers of complaint; will fuss and shy away from a stranger; will whimper or cry out if the phone rings while she is sleeping, but will then fall back to sleep; when hungry will cry on and off until you offer food; will slow the sucking pace if she hears noise while feeding but will then continue. The advantage of knowing your daughter’s temperament is not so you can change her to fulfill your expectations. It is, instead, having an opportunity to create a good fit between your temperament and your child’s. This becomes especially important when temperament gets mixed up with stereotypical labels that define how a little girl “should” act.Your baby girl is now leaving infancy behind and moving full speed ahead into toddlerhood. But before she goes, she leaves you with a year full of exciting “firsts,” magical moments, and memories of messy faces, silly laughs, and sloppy kisses.