Emotional Development

While your daughter is growing larger in size and physical capabilities, she is also growing emotionally. She is learning about feelings such as accomplishment and security, and she’s starting to recognize that she is a separate human being who is very special. Although it’s hard to imagine, your daughter has no idea that you and she are not one and the same person. In fact, babies have no way of knowing that any other people exist separately from themselves at all. A sense of self as a separate body and mind, distinct from others, does not develop until the child is about eighteen months old. Much of life before this time is devoted to learning to make this distinction. This self-awareness begins with a thorough exploration of the body. What a joy to watch a baby this age examine her hands and feet. She stares and studies them for long periods, memorizing what they look like and how they work. I imagine she is saying to herself, “What a piece of work I am!” Your daughter’s increasing ability to control her body movements also contributes to her growing sense of self. As she comes to realize that she can manipulate and interact with her world (by taking off her socks for example), she gains strong feelings of mastery and accomplishment. Each success contributes to her view of who she is and her value in the universe Being an infant in an ever-changing world is not always easy. Your daughter may start to show signs of fear and frustration as she tries to understand her world and often falls short. Babies develop fears about the most ordinary things. Your daughter may one day panic when you remove her clothes and she feels discomfort about being naked. Or she may throw a fit when you try to lower her into a warm water bath. Or, she may suddenly become afraid of her stuffed animal. These fears are usually shortlived and nothing to worry about. They are signs that your little girl is becoming more aware of her environment and the fact that not all of it makes sense to her. You can help your daughter get past these fears by accepting them and working to help her deal with them. If, for example, she doesn’t like to be naked, keep a light blanket nearby that you can gently put over her, even when you’re changing her clothes. If she doesn’t want to take a bath, sponge bathe her for a while. If she screams every time she see a certain toy, put the toy away. Don’t worry about “babying” her and feeding her fears. She is a baby, and right now she needs to know that you respect her feelings and are there to protect her. This is also a time when your baby girl will get frustrated when she can’t do all the things she wants to do. If she wants a toy that’s just out of reach, she may now scream at her failed attempt to grab it. If she wants the bottle that’s sitting on the counter but can’t get it herself, she’ll let out a howl—not of hunger as she would earlier—but of frustration. When this happens, it’s sometimes best to stand back and watch for a little bit rather than jump to the rescue. If, for example, your daughter is trying to get a block out of a box, but finds that it’s stuck, don’t help her right away. Give her a chance to work it out, to try harder, to accomplish the task herself. By not running to the rescue too quickly, you teach your daughter how to handle the frustration that often comes when she is learning something new. She’ll eventually learn that if she keeps trying she’ll be successful. This is far better than learning to look to you solve all her problems.