Through the marvels of modern medicine, you may be preparing for your baby girl before you’ve even given birth. How wonderful to know your daughter, to feel her high kicks, and to call her by name before the two of you have formally met. Or, you may be reading this book after you’ve held your daughter, kissed her forehead, and wondered in a panic: Now what!? Either way, here’s some information to get you going on the right track. In this chapter, we’ll explore some of the basics you need to prepare for even before bringing your daughter home from the hospital. In a moment, we’ll talk about selecting a doctor and getting your baby girl’s room set up. But first we’ll discuss one of the most basic decisions you’ll have to make (and also one of the most enjoyable): finding the right name for your bundle of joy. A Rose by Any Other Name . . . Naming Your Daughter I gave my daughter the strong Irish name of Colleen—meaning “little girl” in Gaelic (or so I’m told). My side of the family is solidly Irish on both sides, and so it seemed unfair that this strong heritage be lost in the last name DiGeronimo. My solution was met with raised eyebrows, though my bonnie lass has carried her Irish/Italian name without trouble or incident. Indeed, there is no law limiting what you can call your daughter. Comedian and civil rights leader Dick Gregory gave his twins the middles names of Inte and Gration. Cher and Sonny Bono named their daughter Chastity Sun. Mia Farrow and Andre Previn chose Lark Song and Summer Song for their daughters. So if you feel like being creative, there’s nothing stopping you (except perhaps good judgment). Until the 1700s, the issue of naming a daughter in America was not cause for pause. Like their brothers, girls were named after a relative. The firstborn was named after her father’s mother; the second born after her mother’s mother; the third born after her mother herself; and later daughters after the mother’s and father’s sisters. In fact, if you decide to name your daughter after her mother and add “Junior” to her name, you won’t be breaking new ground. In the 1700s in New England, it was quite common to find references to “Elizabeth Smith, Jr.” on legal wills and deeds. This cultural tradition changed in the 1800s when families began giving their daughters names outside the family tree. Dr. Cleveland Kent Evans of the American Name Society says that since that time, girls have been given more varied and fanciful names than boys. Like fashions, female names are now worn for show, to differentiate the bearer from other females. And these names change in popularity rather quickly. There will be four Stephanies in first grade one year and then four Jessicas the next— upsetting all the parents who thought they had found a unique name for their daughter! In general, parents of girls often place “unique” at the top of their name-criteria list. In fact, the most popular names given to females each year are not truly popular at all. Dr. Evans notes that in the 1990s, the top fifty names for girls were given to less than 40 percent of the newborns. Some parents of daughters commit to female names that fit their infants without projecting the name into adulthood. For this reason more women than men will have names that seem inappropriate for adults (“Pixie” comes to mind). Female names also are more likely to be “modern” than male names. It is quite common, for example, for little boys to have the same names as men over age forty (such as Bob, Mike, or Joe), but not so for females. Names common in women over forty such as Linda, Nancy, Mary, Barbara, and Kathy are today rarely given to little girls; they are considered too “old.” As you’re tossing around possible names for your baby girl, keep these tips in mind to help you make a decision you and your child can live with for many years to come: Say it out loud. Does the first name and your last name flow nicely and sound good together? Do they bang into each other and trip up the tongue? Or do they make you laugh (like Sadie Faydie)? Does the name you’re thinking of have a nickname? If you don’t like the nickname, stay away from the proper name— once kids reach school, you may lose control of what the other children call your daughter. Gabriella can become Gabby whether you like it or not. Check out the initials. I planned to name my firstborn Matthew Adam, but then realized his initials would be M.A.D. and quickly changed my mind. Consider gender identification. There are several names and nicknames that can be male or female, such as Sam, or Chris If you choose such a name, your child will be plagued with name problems for the rest of her life. My neighbor’s daughter arrived for her first day of college to find that her roommate, Chris, was male, requiring a quick reshuffling of room assignments, and much embarrassment for poor Chris
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