The best toys for this age group are ones that exercise large muscles (and expend all that energy). For outdoor play, give her toy ladders to climb, wagons to pull, and toy lawn mowers to push. Toys that she can ride on will also be a favorite and will help develop strength and large muscle coordination. Emotional Development Some say females are the more emotional of the sexes, but among toddlers, it’s the little boys who cry more often and with more force than girls. But they cry for different reasons. Boys cry when things don’t work as they should or when their routines are disrupted and, combined with kicking a door or hitting the wall, their tears help them voice their complaints. Girls, on the other hand, are better at complaining with words (often very loudly) but cry more often than boys when they are hurt or need help. Some feel this is because girls are better able to use words to express their feelings, but are more dependent on adults for help and direction. Whatever the reason, your little girl is bound to cry. It’s part of being a person with feelings. When that happens, don’t make light of those feelings by telling her, “Oh, that doesn’t hurt,” or “Be a big girl and don’t cry.” Instead, try to understand how she feels. The next time your daughter cries, try something like, “That must upset you very much. Let’s see if a hug will make you feel better.” To give themselves emotional supports, some toddlers hang on to security items. It may be an old baby blanket, a tattered doll, or worn stuffed animal. My Colleen chose a particular bottle that she refused to give up. Anywhere she went, the bottle went, too. If your daughter is dragging around a security blanket or a favorite stuffed animal (or a rather grimy bottle or cup), she has found a way to bolster her sense of emotional security, especially when you’re not around. This, child experts say, is not a weakness;it is an early coping skill. If your child is attached to a “banky” or special “friend,” don’t discourage it or “lose” it when she’s not looking (a real temptation when it becomes worn and tattered). She will give it up herself when it no longer serves an emotional need—although she may still want it nearby at bedtime for years to come. Cognitive Development Although little girls are just as intelligent as little boys, their cognitive development progresses at different pace. Your daughter has a better grasp of verbal skills than boys of the same age, but she may not be quite as good with spatial relationships. Her budding imagination will help her balance the two as she guides her toy cars through make-believe traffic and practices putting put her abstract thoughts into words. The left hemisphere of the brain is far more active in females, making girls better at listening, communicating, and all languagebased learning. This is probably why females have the reputation for being more talkative than males and men are described as “strong, silent” types. At one year old, most babies say their first true word. (Although mama sounded like an attempt at your name, it was just a fun repetition of syllables.) Now you’ll hear real words that refer to food (bottle, cookie), people (Mama, Dada, and the child’s own name), and toys (ball, doll). At first, your daughter will use very basic word choices: she will say “dog” rather than “poodle.” she will say “flower” rather than “tulip.” And she will over-generalize: All men may be “Daddy,” and all round toys are “ball.” Sometime between eighteen and twenty-four months, your daughter will have a vocabulary between fifty and five hundred words (that’s quite a spread, because in the area of language development kids are all unique), and at some point will string her first sentence together. The thought in these sentences may not be profound (in fact it will probably be just two words long), but the accomplishment is a major advance in learning the language. So listen carefully. After your daughter uses two words together to make a sentence, her language growth may explode. The sentences become longer, and she will soon add pronouns, plurals, and the past tenses of verbs. “See truck,” becomes “I see truck.” “I walk” becomes “I walked.” These seemingly minor changes are giant steps forward. This is also the time when your daughter’s speech will mirror her growing independence. Most children quickly learn to say “No,” “Mine,” and “Me do it,” and they practice these words all day long. Try not to interpret the “no” response as a sign of total negativity. Sometimes, it’s just a fun word to say. (Interestingly, toddlers use the word no many months before they can use the word yes. But you probably already know that!) Although language skills take giant steps forward between twelve and twenty-four months, there is still a lot to learn. You’ll hear your daughter use pronouns and verb tenses quite creatively when she says, “Us go now,” and “Truck comed.” But these “mistakes” are all part of learning the language and are no cause to worry. Your daughter’s advanced language skills will continue to develop through the years, faster than her male friends. That’s why girls move into reading readiness about two years earlier than boys. You can support and bolster these skills by trying some of these tips offered by child psychologist Charles Schaefer: Fill in the blanks. If your daughter says “Truck coming,” you might reply, “Yes, a big truck is coming.” Add more information. “That’s a big delivery truck.” Use prompting to encourage vocabulary growth. Say, “Here comes a big __________” and let your child fill in the blank. Have conversations. When you talk to your daughter, leave a pause, giving her a chance to respond. Ask your daughter questions (such as “What?” “Where?” “When?”) that require more than a yes/no response Label things in the environment. When you visit a park, talk about what you see: “Look at the see-saw. I see a white swan.” Play language games. These include playing telephone, naming pictures in a magazine, and enjoying nursery rhymes and songs. Simplify your speech pattern. While your daughter is learning the basics, use simple sentences and speak a bit more slowly than you normally do. Read! Children learn about language by hearing it. Avoid correcting grammar mistakes. Simply repeat the thought correctly. If your child says, “Truck comed,” you can say, “Yes, the truck came.” Don’t let your daughter use pointing as her only method of communication. When she points to the cookie jar, for example, say, “Do you want a cookie?” or “Can you say ‘cookie’?” Language development often moves two steps forward and one step back. So don’t be upset if your daughter “forgets” the words she knew yesterday.
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